Biola Essay

I was just accepted into Biola University to major in Biblical Studies this next fall. This is the application essay I wrote:

Prompt: At Biola University, our common foundation is our faith in Christ and becoming transformed into His likeness. In light of this fact, please describe: a) the circumstances surrounding your decision to become a follower of Jesus Christ, using various Bible passages as the framework for your salvation and eternal life in Christ, and b) using specific examples, describe your process of spiritual growth over the past three years.


I used to think it was difficult for someone who has grown up in the church, as I have, to actually pinpoint the time when they made a decision to follow Christ. When I began to think about it recently, the first thing that popped into my head was the answer I had given for years: I had prayed asking Jesus into my heart sometime around when I was in the second grade. That was just my go-to answer whenever the question was asked of me.

My faith had been stagnant and shallow. For years it was just skin deep. I would say to anyone who asked that I believed in Jesus. But for believing in something supposedly so life changing, my life surely was not showing it.

I was living life with the same absurdity as standing out in the middle of the freeway during rush hour. Certainly, those who witnessed me would either think I was a complete fool or that somehow I must not know about the cars flying past. In the same way, no one would believe that I professed a faith in Christ by looking at my actions. Or they might have just thought I was a hypocritical fool.

There was a massive disconnect between what I knew intellectually and how I carried out my life. James wrote in his Epistle that even demons know that there is one God and they “shudder” (2:19). Here I was, going about my life, believing that Jesus exists, but not desiring to follow Him in the slightest. I did not love God, hate God, fear God, or admire God. I ignored God. At least the demons had enough common sense to fear the majesty of God rather than to ignore Him completely.

It was during time spent at my college Bible study that I began to grow immeasurably in my faith. It’s something I can only attribute to the Holy Spirit working in my life. The facilitators of the group decided that it was best for the students to begin teaching the lessons. I was reluctant at first but that soon changed. After getting deep into studying God’s word, I began to see things differently. I didn’t just want to make it through the lesson so that I could pass on the responsibility to the next person; I actually began to desire studying the Bible and the Christian theology therein.

It has been a struggle trying to give my life up to God and to let him lead and guide me. Whenever I heard people say that really believing in Jesus “wrecked” their lives, I had no idea what that meant. Slowly, as I drew closer to God, I began to realize more and more that what Christ had in store for me would flip everything I knew on its head.

Jokes that might have made me laugh before now made me cringe. With the same clarity as getting glasses for the first time, my view of the world was suddenly tack sharp. I was no longer disillusioned by a blurred reality. I became sickened with people’s deep desire for things other than God. It began to worry me how deeply that desire has seeped into almost every facet of our culture. One only needs turn on the television or flip open a magazine to see an advertisement that aims to convince you that their product will satisfy your every need. I had come to realize that every need in my life was filled by God.

I began to question everything. My career choice, my entertainment, my music, my relationships—nothing was left unquestioned. I began to rid myself of everything that was slowly turning my focus away from God. Into a large cardboard box went all the movies that filled my shelves. Slowly my empty shelves were restocked with Bible commentaries, thick theology books, and other works authored by brilliant Christians writers. My focus was no longer on the simple pleasures of life—I had a larger goal ahead of me.

Every day I interact with people whose hearts are becoming increasingly hardened to the very idea of a God that exists. I see this at work, school, and even in my own home. The culture around us promotes dependency on ourselves alone. If an idea challenges our emotional feelings or the preconceived logic that we hold dear, then the new idea must not be true. Our culture and our media mock the very idea of God. When Christianity happens to be thrust in the spotlight, it is often because of great hypocrisy, which then ends up turning even more people away from God.

I want to be the beacon of light in the lives of people inundated by a world that rejects God. Just as Jesus says in Matthew 6:16, to “let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” I want others to see my life and know there is something different about me. I want them to know the love of Christ through my actions.

I desire to do as Jesus commanded and “make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19). I want to lead others to know Jesus as their Savior. I want them to have intimate relationships with Him. I want them to know God. I want them to fear God, worship God, and—above all—to love God.

I have attempted to really put myself out there to see what it is like teaching God’s word. I love it. I have taught more and more in our College Group and have even begun a series on Sunday mornings with our Youth Group. Every time I sit down to write a lesson, I learn something new about myself and about God.

I feel that God is leading me to study the Bible in my next few years at college. I have never been more certain about anything. I have never felt a passion like this before. I still have much to learn and I do not know where this will take me, but my life is completely open to Him working through me.

Diamonds Are Forever?

We buy diamonds. Rare, clear, sparkly rocks. Why? Because they are pretty? We decorate our lives with fanciful, pointless things for the mere fact that they look good.

Which brings us more pleasure in life? Spending money on a diamond OR spending the same amount on actually helping someone else? Most people would probably say to help someone else brings more pleasure. But how do we live?

This isn't just limited to precious stones. What about the entertainment we choose to spend our time consuming? What is the point of it? Movies, books, sports? Does it have a purpose beyond titillating ourselves for a short period of time?

The Greatest Treasure

          Matthew 13:44

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."


This man knew that he had stumbled upon something with the greatest value: the Kingdom of Heaven. Of course he would give up everything he had to obtain it.

It would be like playing Jeopardy and getting to the final stage (where you have to wager a certain amount of money against answering a question that hasn't been revealed yet). But in this game, you know what the last question is and you know the answer. Would you not wager everything you earned?

Except this isn’t a game at all. This is real life here on Earth and we’re headed for an eternal life which we will either spend with God or away from Him.

And everything we “wager” here on Earth is nothing compared to the reward of being with God. It would be like having earned just one dollar through the whole Jeopardy game yet being able to wager that one dollar to win one million dollars. It seems like a no-brainer that we wager everything, our whole lives.

What is our response when we learn that Jesus died to be the sacrifice for our sins and allow us to be in heaven with His Father? Are we giving everything we have? All God is asking for is that one dollar we’ve received in return for unfathomable riches. Are we just throwing pocket change back at God and asking Him if it’s good enough?

All the Possibilities, part 2

This post is a much different topic from the last post, but oddly enough, it flowed from it. So I will begin with the statement I last made:

We must be open to ANY possibility so that the Holy Spirit can work through us.

How else might have Dietrich Bonhoeffer, an avid pacifist and Christ follower, been open to the idea of killing Hitler?

We have seen God work through every kind of extreme. To the point where he has called certain people to kill those who oppose Him and He has called others to give up their own lives for those who oppose Him.

What I believe matters is where your heart is. As C.S. Lewis has said in Mere Christianity,

“Remember, we Christians think man lives for ever. Therefore, what really matters is those little marks or twists on the central, inside part of the soul which are going to turn it, in the long run, into a heavenly or a hellish creature. We may kill if necessary, but we must not hate and enjoy hating.”

When David went off to kill Goliath (1 Samuel 17) he did so because Goliath disrespected and “defied the armies of the living God.” He had no voice of God booming down from the clouds telling him to kill Goliath. But he knew what was right. His heart was for God. This was, however, different from a cold-blooded killing—it was a time of war.

In the past, God has commanded his people to kill others—not even simply in war—but even when the people being killed were not fighting back (when God has commanded whole nations to be killed—an example being found in Joshua 8, with the nation of Ai). You can see this throughout the Old Testament.

But then Jesus came along, commanded us to turn the other cheek, and every single one of the apostles was killed due to the dedicated spreading of their testimony. They did not fight back. A beautiful picture of self-sacrifice.

So then we have to ask, why is there this discrepancy? The answer does not lie in the character of God because God is unchanging. So what is God trying to accomplish through the killing in one situation and the pacifism in another?

The Israelites were God’s protected people, often surrounded by many who wanted to kill them. Would it have been better for them to practice pacifism in this situation? Would they have survived?

For the first small band of Christ followers, would it have been wise to wage war against the leaders of the land? Their focus was on spreading the words of Christ. The ideas that came from the first believers have lasted centuries and have spread to almost every corner of the Earth.

From what I know of the past, present, and future (through Revelation) the answer is that God WILL be glorified. Often through different situations and in different ways, but his will is always accomplished.

We must allow the Holy Spirit to work through us as we ask ourselves, “Are our actions glorifying God?”

When our college group discussed this topic, the idea was brought up of certain radicals who have felt is necessary to bomb abortion clinics in the name of God. Can Christians be called to kill ANYONE who opposes God?

Is it strange that I, personally, feel that it would have been acceptable to kill Hitler but not AT ALL acceptable to bomb an abortion clinic? I believe there is a stark difference between the two.

There was no Earthly authority over Hitler, no one at all to stop him from continuing to order the murder of millions of people. How else would we stop the actions of a man who is clearly committing atrocities? Hope for God Himself to strike Hitler dead? Hope for someone to change this man’s heart? Not impossible, as anything is possible with God, but shouldn’t it also be possible that God was calling upon the action of man to stop Hitler by other means?

Hitler’s death almost certainly meant the end of the holocaust that was being committed. So an answer to the solution to the holocaust would then be to kill Hitler. The answer to ending abortion, however, does not lie in bombing a clinic or killing the doctors who perform abortions. Only policies set in place by law would change the extent to which abortions are committed in our country. Laws are not effectively set in place by murder and destruction but by the changing of hearts and minds.

I believe that the war should always first be waged on hearts and minds.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

It bears repeating; when it comes to any action, we should allow the Holy Spirit to work through us as we ask, “Is it for the glory of God?”

All the Possibilities

Every day we see bad things happening to people around the world courtesy of the news media. To make ourselves feel better about not being able to help so many others, we say, “Well, of course I will help those in need who are placed in front of me.”

But we often live in places where we can avoid those in need, where necessities like hunger and health are taken care of but where materialism and pride run rampant. We focus on ourselves while comfortably ignoring those in need who live around the world or even just a city over.

The needs in the world can be overwhelming to think about and impossible to take care of all by ourselves. But I think we should be asking these questions:

1. Are my priorities straight? What am I living for? What comes first in my life? Money, pride, pleasure, status, seeking the love of a husband, a wife? Or God?

Stop and think about this first question. It is the most important.





2. We wouldn’t have been able to see the devastation of the 2004 tsunami in India if we didn’t have today’s technology. We now have easier ways of seeing and of helping. But the fact remains that we can’t help everyone. 18,000 children die a day due to starvation. But there’s only one of me. So to what extent should we be helping the seemingly infinite amount of needs that are now placed in front of us?

3. Should we physically place ourselves in areas where need is apparent? Moving out of our hometown, our state, our country?

4. Have we been so focused on ourselves and on those around the world that we fail to address the need of the person in the room right next to us?

The answers to these questions are not plainly laid out in Scripture. We have no rules about how much emphasis we place on any one of these questions. Different people are led to take action in different ways.

From a simplified, “reaching the nations” point of view, one person may be led to give up everything they own and become a missionary in a third world country which does not know Christ. Another person is led to be a good steward of his money to support the guy who went to become a missionary. And there are yet others who are led to do any number of things between the two extremes.

You cannot say to one or the other that they are not doing as the Bible says because, depending where their heart is, they both are! The missionary is helping others because of support from the steward and the steward is helping others through the missionary.

If ALL Christians were to give up their houses, cars, and lives here to go live in another country, how would they all support themselves and the others that they are trying to help? If they all chose to be good stewards in America, who would reach the unreached in other countries?

To what extent must we take action?

We have to be open and asking ourselves these questions, open to ANY possibility so that the Holy Spirit can work through us.

11/11/11

A text message I sent this morning after a lot of thinking, praying, and--to be honest--crying.

A woman just came in to our store to send $2000 to someone in Mexico who has kidnapped her son. I don't even know what to do with that. I don't even know who these people are--but all of a sudden it's just SO real for me. Not just another newspaper article. This isn't just another headline in the long list of how many bad things happen on a day to day basis. It's real life. Real bad things happening to real people. And of course I know that. But do I KNOW it so that it affects my day to day actions, my thoughts, my prayers?

The Beginning

I've begun writing notes to myself. Usually on sticky notes. These are my thoughts that I collect throughout the day.