I've begun writing notes to myself. Usually on sticky notes. These are my thoughts that I collect throughout the day.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Biola Essay

I was just accepted into Biola University to major in Biblical Studies this next fall. This is the application essay I wrote:

Prompt: At Biola University, our common foundation is our faith in Christ and becoming transformed into His likeness. In light of this fact, please describe: a) the circumstances surrounding your decision to become a follower of Jesus Christ, using various Bible passages as the framework for your salvation and eternal life in Christ, and b) using specific examples, describe your process of spiritual growth over the past three years.


I used to think it was difficult for someone who has grown up in the church, as I have, to actually pinpoint the time when they made a decision to follow Christ. When I began to think about it recently, the first thing that popped into my head was the answer I had given for years: I had prayed asking Jesus into my heart sometime around when I was in the second grade. That was just my go-to answer whenever the question was asked of me.

My faith had been stagnant and shallow. For years it was just skin deep. I would say to anyone who asked that I believed in Jesus. But for believing in something supposedly so life changing, my life surely was not showing it.

I was living life with the same absurdity as standing out in the middle of the freeway during rush hour. Certainly, those who witnessed me would either think I was a complete fool or that somehow I must not know about the cars flying past. In the same way, no one would believe that I professed a faith in Christ by looking at my actions. Or they might have just thought I was a hypocritical fool.

There was a massive disconnect between what I knew intellectually and how I carried out my life. James wrote in his Epistle that even demons know that there is one God and they “shudder” (2:19). Here I was, going about my life, believing that Jesus exists, but not desiring to follow Him in the slightest. I did not love God, hate God, fear God, or admire God. I ignored God. At least the demons had enough common sense to fear the majesty of God rather than to ignore Him completely.

It was during time spent at my college Bible study that I began to grow immeasurably in my faith. It’s something I can only attribute to the Holy Spirit working in my life. The facilitators of the group decided that it was best for the students to begin teaching the lessons. I was reluctant at first but that soon changed. After getting deep into studying God’s word, I began to see things differently. I didn’t just want to make it through the lesson so that I could pass on the responsibility to the next person; I actually began to desire studying the Bible and the Christian theology therein.

It has been a struggle trying to give my life up to God and to let him lead and guide me. Whenever I heard people say that really believing in Jesus “wrecked” their lives, I had no idea what that meant. Slowly, as I drew closer to God, I began to realize more and more that what Christ had in store for me would flip everything I knew on its head.

Jokes that might have made me laugh before now made me cringe. With the same clarity as getting glasses for the first time, my view of the world was suddenly tack sharp. I was no longer disillusioned by a blurred reality. I became sickened with people’s deep desire for things other than God. It began to worry me how deeply that desire has seeped into almost every facet of our culture. One only needs turn on the television or flip open a magazine to see an advertisement that aims to convince you that their product will satisfy your every need. I had come to realize that every need in my life was filled by God.

I began to question everything. My career choice, my entertainment, my music, my relationships—nothing was left unquestioned. I began to rid myself of everything that was slowly turning my focus away from God. Into a large cardboard box went all the movies that filled my shelves. Slowly my empty shelves were restocked with Bible commentaries, thick theology books, and other works authored by brilliant Christians writers. My focus was no longer on the simple pleasures of life—I had a larger goal ahead of me.

Every day I interact with people whose hearts are becoming increasingly hardened to the very idea of a God that exists. I see this at work, school, and even in my own home. The culture around us promotes dependency on ourselves alone. If an idea challenges our emotional feelings or the preconceived logic that we hold dear, then the new idea must not be true. Our culture and our media mock the very idea of God. When Christianity happens to be thrust in the spotlight, it is often because of great hypocrisy, which then ends up turning even more people away from God.

I want to be the beacon of light in the lives of people inundated by a world that rejects God. Just as Jesus says in Matthew 6:16, to “let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” I want others to see my life and know there is something different about me. I want them to know the love of Christ through my actions.

I desire to do as Jesus commanded and “make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19). I want to lead others to know Jesus as their Savior. I want them to have intimate relationships with Him. I want them to know God. I want them to fear God, worship God, and—above all—to love God.

I have attempted to really put myself out there to see what it is like teaching God’s word. I love it. I have taught more and more in our College Group and have even begun a series on Sunday mornings with our Youth Group. Every time I sit down to write a lesson, I learn something new about myself and about God.

I feel that God is leading me to study the Bible in my next few years at college. I have never been more certain about anything. I have never felt a passion like this before. I still have much to learn and I do not know where this will take me, but my life is completely open to Him working through me.

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